Relationship violence wrecks lives. It wreaks havoc. It's just wrong already! My dear friend NANDOism (the witty, sexy, well coiffed HOTTIE of internet fame), requested my two cents on the whole Rihanna/CB thing. When the story 'hit the air', I 'took it out on' unwitting TWITTERers:- She shoulda beat his ass with her UM-BER-ELLA. Fancy clothes and car don't give u brains let's hope she ditches him and sheds light on the issue.
- Spent years helping domestic violence victims, MAD hard 2break cycle n convince 'em 2leave, even harder 2explain 2 U why they often stay.
- Girls need 2B taught 2 Y themselves, 2 respect their minds and bodies, 2 have self value & worth, then they wont take fkn ish from a lover!
- The Problem is we tend to look outside ourselves for Y & approval, instead of within. A strong sense of self esteem is best defense in life.
- Give me an hour or 2 with Rihanna & she'd b singing a diff tune, pressing charges while becoming a worthy role model, silence is compliance!
- Chris Brown's stepdad beat his moms, n I hear this ain't first time he roughed Rihanna up... boys who witness abuse often become batterers.
Hello?! INTERNETS!? Can I get a WTF for the wife who filed for divorce in Upstate NY and was BEHEADED by her abusive husband? So much for that Order Of Protection! I'm not talking about BDSM or whoever likes to get freaky-deeky with a roughneck, that is FREE CHOICE. In abusive relationships, ONE person wields total control by terrorizing the other. NOT FUN. Love shouldn't hurt. As we say in Spanish, NO LE PEGUE LA NEGRA, ni la Chinita, ni la blanquita, ni a nadie (do not hit the black, the Asian, the white one, or anyone)!
In the late 90's, I was a DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INTERVENTION AND EDUCATION PROGRAM Unit Coordinator for Victim Services, now SAFE HORIZON (1-800-621-HOPE). I worked in several NYPD precincts as a (homicide prevention) crisis counselor to end the cycle of violence, which knows no bounds. Violence is VIOLENCE, it crosses all barriers of socio-economy and status including race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, age, education level, even fame. IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE!
NOBODY LIKES IT, DESERVES IT, OR ASKS FOR IT.
*N*E*V*E*R* BLAME THE VICTIM for being abused!
Together with specially trained Domestic Violence Police Officers, I assisted NYC residents to begin the long transformation from VICTIM to SURVIVOR, offering info, moral support, shelter placements and connections to counseling and services. I advocated for those who filed police reports against their partners or family members, helping them navigate the "system" - NYPD, courts, Children's Services, NYCHA, welfare, etc. At role calls, I let officers know about those most in danger of further violence. I gave bilingual presentations on types of abuse and ways to help at hospitals, schools and community centers. I didn't have a gun since I was a civilian, but I had a bulletproof vest for home visits in the projects, on the real, you need one when you're rolling in the 'hood with the 5-0 (PO-lease), but that's another story so stay tuned...
Despite the Violence Against Women Act, it really hasn't changed much since OJ got away with MURDER, but at least Rihanna is STILL ALIVE. If that is her in the photo, she was lucky - THIS TIME. I think she'll soon realize her reasoning ain't right when he DOES IT AGAIN despite all the promises and tears he shed. The reality is the violence gets progressively worse, not better, the only way to end it is by ending the bad relationship. The average victim TRIES to leave 8X before succeeding. It is not easy, but it is POSSIBLE. I hope the LAPD will prosecute, in NYC Chris Breezy would be charged with a felony or 3 by now...
THERE ARE A MILLION REASONS THEY STAY...
DON'T JUDGE, ENCOURAGE!
The laws protecting the many victims of violent crimes remain inadequate at best. Many victims never report the violence they live with or press charges, usually due to shame and fear. A piece of paper is not a magic shield, no matter how many judges sign the damned thing. I really hope Rihanna will rethink any reunion, she is just a KID with little life experience and alas, fame and fortune will never give one the true riches that come from SELF esteem, respect and LOVE. Call me crazy, but it's credible that CB can choose to change his unchivalrous conduct, I just can't quite count on it so quickly occurring - even if he crammed in a crash course of concise counseling!
The following is an excerpt from my original Angelfire pages circa '97, which are now lost in cyberspace...
People of ALL ages, races, cultures, religions, occupations, incomes and education levels are being abused by their partners!
Yes, it happens to MEN, too!
CHANCES ARE SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP!
The one you lost contact with, right after they hooked up with So-and-so... who can no longer "hang out" with you unless their jealous other half is around... who seems sad... who has become isolated...
Domestic violence is the establishment of power and control of one partner over another.
This domination can be established through fear, intimidation, isolation and/or threats.
Abuse can come in many forms, each case is different.
All too often there is physical violence in addition to the psychological, social, emotional, sexual, financial, even medical abuse.
A Woman is BEATEN every 10 seconds in the U.S.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS THE LEADING CAUSE OF INJURY TO WOMEN AGED 15-44 -
MORE THAN CAR ACCIDENTS, RAPES AND MUGGINGS COMBINED!
WHY DOESN'T SHE JUST GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE?
WOMEN who LEAVE their BATTERERS are 75% MORE LIKELY to be KILLED by the ABUSER than those who STAY!
In one of six marriages the WIFE is being ABUSED, but you don't need a ring to have a violent relationship!
Four American Women will LOSE THEIR LIVES TOMORROW at he hands of someone they love!
Enough! STOP THE VIOLENCE!
EDUCATE YOURSELF and YOUR SISTERS, DAUGHTERS, GRANDDAUGHTERS, MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS, AUNTS, NIECES, COUSINS and FRIENDS to VALUE and RESPECT THEMSELVES!
JuliBee430/Juli Be I/JulieBeeEye
MY BOX MY CHOICE
AMOR OMNIA VINCIT! Be the change you wish to see!
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Greg Lamarche proving he still has mad SKILLS in publication!
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